Conflict Resolution and Friends 11/2/2011

Tonight we had some really good discussion about how we deal with conflict among friends.  Maybe even among enemies.  Well to start someone asked what to do when one friend is complaining to you about how another friend treated them.  What do you do?  Where is the line between gossip and just being a good friend who will listen when a friend is in need?  What does the Bible have to say about all this?  To find our answer we look to Matthew 18.  I know the scripture is intended for conflict among believers, but it's amazing how well biblical principles work even with our unsaved friends.  Try it some time.

Gossip vs Listening:

So my friend has a problem with someone else and they want to vent at me, now what?  Our first question to that friend should be, "have you talked to the person you have a problem with privately about this?"  If the answer is "no" then it's none of our business.  All we are doing is entertaining gossip if we continue to listen.   Matthew 18:15 tells us to go privately and point out the offense.  If they don't listen then you can take two or three witnesses according to verse 16.  The problem is that our culture would rather talk about people than to people.  If we would just follow this one step first we would probably resolve a lot more conflict, and live in peace a lot more.

When I Have an Issue:

What about if I have an issue with someone who won't listen or work with me in a group setting? The same rules apply. Go to the person privately and try to work it out. If that doesn't work then you bring along someone else (maybe someone in authority or who would have an objective view of the situation). If the situation still goes unresolved sometimes you just have to let it go. We could all use a lesson in the art of not being easily offended.

They Get Away With Everything:

What about when you're following the rules and someone else continually breaks them? Even worse, they never get caught. Guess what, the same rules apply. Confront privately if it offends you. Then bring a witness or two. If they still won't listen follow the advice of a really good friend of mine. He would tell you to go to Walmart, get yourself a ladder and GET OVER IT! Sometimes people are going to do the wrong thing. We are only responsible for what we do. We need to make sure we do the right thing. If we let bitterness take hold of our heart and we hold a grudge it's only going to hurt us. They won't have a clue that we are upset. Let it go.

Friends 10/26/2012

We have done something new and are splitting the junior high and high school every other week.  The incredible thing is that tonight we had almost identical questions asked about friendships in both groups.  Maybe God is trying to tell us something.  So the question bascially dealt with a friend who doesn't like my friends.  What do I do.  We also talked about what if I don't like my friends friends.  Or what if they are a bad influence?

My Friend Doesn't Like My Other Friends.

You have the right to hang out with whoever you want to.  No one can tell you who to be friends with.  If someone is putting conditions on their friendship then they are not truly a friend.  You shouldn't change your standards just to make someone else happy.  The Bible tells us not to conform to the world (Rom 12:1-2).  You shouldn't have to change what you believe just to satisfy someone else.  If that means someone may not like your friends because they are too "churchy" well that's just their problem and not yours.  You don't need a friend who is only your friend if you do what they say.  That's never worth it.

A Friend Who is a Bad Influence.

You need to be careful when choosing the people you hang out with the most and allow to influence your life.  The Bible says that we should sharpen each other like iron sharpens iron (Pr 27:17).  We should choose friends that will help us to grow in Christ.  Does that mean we shouldn't be friends with anyone who isn't a Christian?  No, not at all.  It just means that our close friends, the ones who influence us should be those who are helping us to grow in God.  We need to be careful to not let bad company corrupt us (1 Cor 15:33).

Divorce:

Finally someone asked about a situation they are dealing with.  How do I comfort my little brother or sister when they see our parents fighting and on the road to divorce?  It's sad to say, but you don't have to look far to see a family affected by divorce these days.  For kids it's a rough road to travel.  As a group we talked and it was cool to hear some of the stories of a brother or sister who helped in a time like this.  Probably the best thing you can do is just be there to listen and let them know you love them.  Spend time with them.  Let them know they are important.  Let them know they are loved.  And never underestimate the power of prayer.  Pray for your brothers and sisters.  Pray for your parents.  God's power is big enough to save marriages.  It may not always go the way we want it to, but God can do miracles.  His love is also big enough to carry us through difficult times like this.

In all of these situations for friends, enemies, friends of friends, parents, brothers and sisters we need to be acting like Jesus.  We may be the only example of Jesus that some people ever see.  Wouldn't it be cool if a terrible situation turned into an awesome opportunity to lead someone to faith in Jesus.

Abortion, Birth Control and Dating 10/5/2011

That title alone is enough to scare off anyone who is talking to teens, but we gave it a shot and had a great discussion about it.  It all started from an emailed question about abortion.  What does God and the Bible say about Abortion?

Abortion:

This actually didn't take very much discussion because we were sitting in a room full of people that agree that abortion is murder.  I'm sure there are people out there that would differ greatly on this matter.  I don't think there is anyone that would condone murder, so the real debate comes down to the question of when life begins.  Unfortunately the Bible doesn't give a simple statement saying that life begins at conception.  However there are several scriptures that deal with God knowing and loving us while we were still in the womb.  Genesis 25 gives an account of Jacob and Esau struggling with each other in the womb (Gen 25:21-23).  If something doesn't even have life I'm not sure how one could struggle with another.  Job asks God why didn't he die at birth (Job 3:11)  He didn't ask why he was never born.  He asks why he didn't die when he came from the womb.  This presupposes that he was already alive while in the womb.  Psalm 51:6 says that God can teach us in the womb.  Jeremiah says that God knew him in the womb (1:5).  Jeremiah also makes the same mention of "dying" in the womb as Job did (Jer 20:17).  You see in Luke 1 that John responded to the sound or Mary's voice while he was in the womb (Lk 1:43-45).  Even science has proven that baby's can respond to stimulus while still in the womb.  I don't think we can deny that life begins at conception if we are really honest with ourselves.  The natural conclusion then is that taking a life is murder.  Therefore abortion is murder.  In case there is still any doubt I think the law is very clear on this one.  "You must not murder." (Ex 20:13).

Birth Control:

The whole discussion on abortion led us into the topic of birth control.  Let's get one thing clear from the start.  I am addressing the use of birth control for a married couple.  Any sex outside of marriage is clearly sin.  So, is birth control playing God or on the same level as abortion when it comes to ending a life?  We're dealing with a different situation here.  We are talking about preventing life from starting and not terminating it once it has begun.  Those pills that terminate a pregnancy are not birth control.  They are just an abortion in a pill.  So that is not what we are talking about here.  The Bible does tell us to be fruitful and multiply (Gen 9:7).  The Bible also says that children are a blessing (Ps 127:3).  However there is no specific command regarding birth control.  God has intended for married couples to have children and raise them in a Godly home.  But there are no specifics on numbers and whether we are free to make those decisions.  This becomes a matter of personal conscience as godly spouses prayerfully covenant with God about the growth of their families.  We need to be careful that our motives are pure and we are trusting in God to lead us.

Dating:

We had a lot of good discussion on this topic.  I think I'm going to ask a lot of questions here in the blog rather than give a bunch of answers.  Follow me on this for a bit.  What is the purpose of dating?  I asked that in our discussion and the group said it was to find the person you are to marry.  Why does dating make it easier to find that one rather than just being friends?  Can you have deep conversations with a friend?  Can you go places with a friend?  Can you hang out with a friend?  Can you marry your friend?  I hope you do.  To be clear here I am talking of a friend of the opposite sex.  We had some confusion in my use of the term "friend" on Wednesday night.  What kind of committment is involved in dating?  What does it take to break that committment?  So what does dating prepare you for?  Let me answer those last three questions.  The committment I guess is however deep you make it.  All it takes to break that committment is a decision.  There are no terms connected to it.  So dating teaches us that committments are temporary and easily broken.  Dating better prepares you for divorce than for marriage.  I have yet to find a teen who can convince me that dating is necessary.  If they are honest I think it has more to do with the physical side of the relationship and their hormones than they care to admit.  Focus on friendships.  Focus on getting to know people for who they are.  Focus on the great things that God has in store for your life.  Maybe you'll see there really is no need for dating.

Jesus, Dinosaurs and Diets 9/28/2011

Is God Jesus' Father?

Tonight we got the chance to address a question that was emailed to me from the fom on this blog.  I hope whoever sent it is reading this.  The question was, "Is God Jesus' father?"  It didn't take much discussion for the students to just say yes, but asked them to tell me how they knew.  It's very important for you to know what you believe, but it's just as important to know why you believe it.  There is a concept in the Bible that we refer to as the Trinity.  We serve one God, but He exists in three persons (Father, Son and Holy Spirit).  That's how the Bible describes it.  You won't find the word "trinity" in the Bible, but the concept is definitely there.  When Jesus gave instructions on baptism in the great commission He told His disciples to baptize in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit (Mt. 28:19).  The clearest reference to Jesus as the Son came at His baptism when the Father said, "this is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased." (Mt 3:13-17).  You see the trinity here again.  The dove is the Holy Spirit.  The Father speaks.  The Son is baptized.  This is one of those concepts that is a little hard for our human brains to grasp.  It's one that we accept by faith knowing that God is bigger than we are.

What About Dinosaurs?

I don't remember the exact question, but someone asked about dinosaurs and where they fit on a timeline.  Before I even get into this I have to say that I am no scholar on this topic, but I did a little research and it all makes sense.  First we went straight to the creation account (Gen 1).  The Bible says animals were made on the fifth day and man on the sixth.  Therefore I believe dinosaurs and man roamed the earth at the same time.  I did some research and it turns out there is a lot of evidence for this.  First off the Bible talks about dinosaurs in a few places using the word "behemoth" or "leviathan".  (Job 40 & 41, Psalm 104 and Isaiah 27).  The word dinosaur isn't used, but that word wasn't invented until 1840 so that kind of makes sense.  Computer isn't in the Bible either, but I don't see anyone arguing against their existence.  Some believe dinosaurs were referred to as dragons in ancient times.  There is also a lot of evidence for this.  The other thing to think about is the fact that dinosaurs or dragons are used in a lot of designs on ancient pottery and artwork.  They couldn't have gotten these images from fossils.  They had to have seen them in real life.  There are also some remote places in Africa and South America where tribes have described seeing what looks like dinosaurs in present day. 

Here's something else to consider.  Reptiles never stop growing until they die.  Back before the flood people lived to be almost 1000 years old.  It can probably be assumed that animals would have lived longer under the same conditions.  This could account for the size of  dinosaurs and why we don't see them today.  Maybe present day lizards are what used to be dinosaurs.  There are a lot of arguments that I'm probably not doing justice.  You can check out this video: 

http://www.drdino.com/dinosaurs-and-the-bible-seminar-part-3/ or this article: 

http://toptenproofs.com/article_dinosaurs.php if you want some more info.  The video is kind of long, but he's got some really good points in there.

The bottom line for me is this:  The Bible gives a record of creation.  The animals were created a day before the humans were.  It's not a stretch for me to believe that dinosaurs and humans roamed the earth at the same time.  I think I can believe that a lot easier than I can believe I came from a rock.  To me that takes a crazy amount of faith.  I'll choose to put my faith in a loving God who took care in creating me.

Vegetarians:

Finally someone asked about being a vegetarian.  Is it a right or wrong issue?  Is it a sin issue?  There are many reasons that people choose to be vegetarian.  I think it's completely up to them.  If it is a moral decision for them then I applaud their committment.  The Bible is clear that we are free to eat meat.  God gave us dominion over the animals and there are several instances where eating meat is condoned.  When it comes down to it, it's not a sin issue.  You can choose to eat or not eat meat.  Either way it isn't a sin.

Destination Campus 9/21/2011

Tonight was a little bit different in r@Nd0m.  I brought a challenge to the students to impact their campus with the gospel and become a campus missionary.  The event was called "Destination Campus" and it was happening in youth groups all over the state as we look forward to See You at the Pole next week.  So students here is a reminder of the commitments your are praying about this week.

Don't forget to bring back your signed card next week if you are committing to be a campus missionary.  God has great things in store for us this year and I can't wait to see what He will do through you on your campus.  Also, don't forget to join students all over the nation in prayer this Wednesday at 7:30 AM at your school's flag pole.  We'll see you at the pole.

A Walk to Remember 9/14/2011

Tonight we had a pleasant surprise in r@Nd0m.  I got a call this afternoon from Trey Hancock, a missionary who lives in Dearborn.  He is walking from Dearborn to Mackinaw City to raise money to build a church.  Yes you read that right.  He started on September 5th and has walked all the way to Gladwin.  He will continue all the way to Mackinaw City and celebrate with a plunge in the waters beneath the bridge.  Since we had this golden opportunity I asked him if he would join us and share with the students and answer some questions.

Here's a little bit of background on Trey.  He has been ministering to Muslims in Dearborn for many years.  I remember as a teenager that he came to visit my youth group.  He has been faithfully serving the Lord in a challenging field for quite some time.  The greatest population of Middle Eastern Muslims outside of the middle east live in Dearborn.  It's as if you have left the United States and stepped into the middle east at times.  It's quite a different culture to live and minister in.  He's been doing this for years and now they are in the process of building a church there.

One of the students asked him why he was walking so far.  I jokingly said he was trying to show what it's like to be a missionary without speed the light.  That really isn't the case, but he liked that and I'm sure he is understanding what that would be like.  Just a reminder to all the students we need to provide the equipment for our missionaries to do the work God has called them to do.  OK, I'm done with my commercial.  Trey shared that his real reason for walking was to raise funds to build the church.  Then he shared a bit about ministering to Muslims.

Trey talked about how Islam is completely anti-Christian.  The world we live in would like to water down our religions and pretend that we are all one.  That is a deception that Satan would like us to believe in order to lead us away from God.  The call to prayer of Islam states that there is no other god but Allah and Muhammad is his prophet.  This is a complete lie.  The Bible clearly states that there is one God and Jesus Christ is His son.  Some would try to confuse us into believing that we are all worshipping the same God in different ways.  That is just not true.  There is only one true God.  Please keep Trey and his ministry in your prayers.  Pray for Muslims everywhere that they would hear and accept the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

There is no such thing as a half-truth!

After a two month sabbatical we are back at it in r@Nd0m.  It’s good to be back.  Tonight someone asked about the difference between a half truth and the whole truth.  You know those times where technically we are telling the truth if you examined only the words we said.  But if you look at the intent and the meaning of what we are leading people to believe it might not be the real story.  So let’s dig in.

Lies:

First let’s establish why it’s wrong to tell a lie.  We’re born with an innate sense that tells us it’s wrong to lie, and yet we all do it because we’re also born with a sinful nature.  You don’t have to teach a kid how to lie.  We all deny everything from the moment we can say, “wasn’t me.”  Our parents teach us that it’s wrong to lie.  Well I hope they do.  The Bible even tells us not to do it.  Remember those stone tablets that Moses got in the book of Exodus (Chapter 20).  So are all of those the reasons that it’s wrong to lie?  NOPE!!!  The bottom line is that it goes against the very nature and character of God.  He is the way, the TRUTH and the life (Jn 14:6).  So God is truth.  To lie goes against His very nature and therefore it is sin.

Half-Truth:

What about when we technically tell the truth, but leave out a few facts so that we don’t get in trouble or don’t hurt someone?  Is that a sin?  I would say the best example of that is found in Acts 5.  Ananias and Sapphira sold some property and then brought an offering from that sale.  They kept some of it back, but wanted everyone to believe they gave it all.  The passage clearly says that they lied to the Holy Spirit in doing this and they died for their sin.  The Bible is very clear that God looks at the heart.  If you are intending to deceive then you are lying.  Even if the words you use aren’t technically a lie it’s still a lie.  There is no such thing as a half truth.  If it’s part lie then it’s all lie.  If it’s not totally truth then it’s all lie.  You can’t go half way on this one.

So what about those lies we tell to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.  All guys dread this question:  “Does this make me look fat?”  The Bible tells us to speak the truth in love (Eph 4:15).  If someone is wearing something that makes them look bad how is it loving to tell them it looks good?  Then they are going to wear that thing out in public and it will be even worse.  If we really love someone we will tell them the truth.  It may hurt for a little bit, but it will keep them from greater pain later.  So if someone has something in their teeth when you’re talking to them politely tell them.  Don’t let them walk around like that.  That’s not what a true friend does.  We should speak the truth in love.  Don’t forget that last part.  Don’t be mean about it when you’re telling the truth.  Still be loving and kind.  It’s all about truth and love because that’s what God is.  Follow that and you’ll be alright.