Thursday, December 1, 2011

Hey, No question is too stupid when it comes to Marriage, Dating or Modesty! Girl's Only Random Wed. Nov. 30th

It was girl's night in random this week.  We had some great questions and great discussion.  We talked about so much, so I will try to keep it short by doing a question and answer format. These were all really huge topics as you will see.....
(Hey and just for fun I will throw some old pictures in of me and PJ.  Don't laugh to hard)
Marriage & Divorce
Why is marriage important to God? 
God created marriage for us so that we would not be alone.  God is good and all He creates is marriage the way God intended is good.  Marriage is also suppose to be the picture of Christ relationship with the church.  Whoa, that is a big DEAL!  Pastor John and My marriage is suppose to show you all how Christ is with His church.  That is we better not mess it up by lying to each other, cheating, hurting each other or divorcing.  Marriage is very important to God it is promise to each other and to Him.
Ephesians 5 :21-33 is a great picture of marriage.  Genesis 1:27; 2:18,22,23,Matthew 19:4,5, Malachi 2:14
Why is divorce such a big deal to a Christian? 
Well, when you read why marriage is so important, I think we get the idea of why it is so important to do our best to make our marriages work and to not enter into a marriage so lightly.  For a Christian Christ is at the very center of our marriages.  Hebrews 13:4, Mark 10:1-10, Malachi 2:14-16:
How can I avoid getting divorced?
I could go on and on about divorce; but, I would rather just tell you how to avoid it.  The best way to avoid divorce is to be so in love with Jesus and have a relationship with Him.  He will guide you to the right person who will love Christ just as much as you do.  When your marriage is built on Christ and divorce is not an option then God can do something amazing.  Now, rough times come and you will always need help in your marriage because none of us are perfect.  Keep Christ first! 

Disclaimer:  Now people can choose to walk away from the Lord and not live for Him at any time.  God would never want you or your children to be in physical danger always keep that in mind.  God does give some provisions for divorce. Matthew 5:32

When should I date? 
Remember Pastor Christina's rules??? 
#1 Only when you are 30.  #2. When you go on your first date you must eat a whole bag of Funyuns! 
Seriously,  find out what your parents rules are on dating and obey those!  My recommendation is to wait as long as possible...even after high school.  Wow, that is Crazy Pastor Christina!!!!  If we were all honest, we would all say that dating is a lot of drama for even the most mature of people.  Jr. High and High should just be fun with no pressures and no heart ache.  It is totally okay to like people...God put those desires in us.  But our hearts should be kept for the one we marry. 

How far is too far? 
I can some this up in one line....."If you don't got it.....don't touch it!"   I am also going to add or see it!!!!!    Hahahaha I love that line, it is awesome and a great guideline.  Before you start dating(when you are 30 tehehehee) set up some rules for your self, let them know your rules and then never break those rules.  You will be proud of yourself and you will help yourself remain pure.   You will also relieve yourself of a lot of pressure when you are dating.  You know what to expect and they know what to expect.  As a Christian we also believe that sex is only for marriage.  So, I hope you all understand that Pastor Christina is telling you to save sex for the one you marry on your wedding day, it should not even be a part dating.  But, I do realize how hard it is to not feel tempted to have sex before marriage and I do realize that there is a lot of pressure to do it so (Romans 6:13)............

Tips on helping not to go too far in dating:
  • avoid being completely alone in a car, house where ever.
  • if you would feel uncomfortable doing something in front of your parents, you probably should avoid it.
  • have your parents keep you accountable for curfews, not letting you be alone with them etc. I know it is crazy to talk to your parents about this stuff ...but you will be glad you did!
  • Never, ever, ever hang out in each others is just not a good idea!

Disclaimer: You must always obey your parents and their rules for dating.

Lastly, Nobody has the right to pressure you to do anything you do not want to do.  You do not have to do anything to "prove your love" to anybody.  And NOBODY has the right to hit you, slap you or force anything on you ....EVER!  You are God's creation and you deserve far more than to ever be treated like that.  If you are in an abusive relationship....get out, get help.  If you can't tell your parents, come talk to Pastor John, Joe, Angie, Kristina or me and we will do everything in our power to help you get safe and be safe. 

Why is modesty important?  Well, we have established in the previous questions that our bodies are for the one we marry not for everybody else.  Modesty is all about remaining pure and not causing others to stumble.  We need to honor God with our bodies and help others honor God with their thoughts. 

What are some things I can do to help me be modest?
Being modest doesn't mean you have to look dorky.  I challenge you to find great clothes that are really cute while keeping it modest.  You can do it, have fun and look great!  I have learned some really great tips in helping myself be modest here they are....

  1. Length of skirts and shorts should go past the tips of your fingers when your arms are down at your sides.
  2. If you bend over and touch your toes no one should be able to see your back end...under your skirt or above your pants.
  3. When sitting and wearing a skirt keep your knees together.
  4. Shirts and tops should be loose and not too form fitting.  Also makes sure that they are not too thin or see through.  Layering always works really great to avoid these things.
  5. Tops should also not have a plunging neckline.  Let's try to avoid letting people seeing down our shirts to our belly buttons.  Pick tops that have a higher cut neck line or use your fist to help you make sure it is not to low.   What, use my fist???  Make a fist with your hand....go ahead make a fist.   Put your fist up to the base of your neck.  Your shirt should not go lower than your fist.  Got it??? Great!
  6. I also place my hand on my neckline when I have to pick things up.   Even the greatest of shirts still can be seen down when you bend over. 
  7. My philosophy on underwear...wear it but don't show it!  If a guy sees that you have a pink bra on.....that will all he will think about when he is talking to you. 
  8. When in doubt....ask Pastor Christina or your dad.   Dads are really good at making sure you don't go out of the house immodest.  Moms may think. "You look so cute!"  Dads will think, "No, boy is going to look at MY daughter wearing that....go change your clothes young lady!"  Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha  got to love our dads; they really are looking out for you!

Disclaimer: You must always obey your parents and their rules for modesty.

Do you have any great modesty tips?  Leave them in the comments below!!!!!  Check out for a great rescource on modesty!

One of my favorite verses:
I Peter 3
 3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaah, I write too much; but I can't leave any of  it out.  Girls, I hope our conversations last night helped you all become the women you want to be.  Remember, God has a plan for you and wants to do amazing things in you!
Jer 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Always GET JOY!
Pastor Christina

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