Friday, November 11, 2011

Do Difficult Things (junior high) 11/9/2011

Confronting Mom or Dad:

Last week we talked about Matthew 18 and the way it applies to our relationships and conflicts.  This week we talked about the same principles in a much deeper and greater consequence.  What if mom or dad is doing something that the other doesn't know about?  What if they are involved in something that could potentially cause divorce?  Do you tell the other parent?  What do you do?  First off, this is a situation that I pray no student ever finds themself in.  Unfortunately this will happen to some in the world we live in.  The advice on this conflict is still the same.  Follow the principles of Matthew 18.  You go to the one who has committed the offense privately and confront in a loving and honest way.  In other words if mom is doing something she aught not do, you go and tell her she needs to come clean with dad and stop it.  If she does the right thing that is the end of it from the confrontation side and hopefully the beginning of a healing that needs to take place.  However in that conversation with mom you let her know that if she doesn't tell dad in a certain amount of time that you are going to let him know what's going on.  This has to be one of the worst things a student could ever have to do, but it's the right thing to do.  Hopefully the difficult confrontation will lead to your parents talking things out and working through it and not just ending things.  However, know this one thing:  If the outcome is bad, it is NEVER your fault for confronting.  However, if the outcome is good, you can take some credit for intervening in a godly way and doing the right thing even though it was difficult.  Side not on this one.  If the confrontation is too big for you and too difficult to do on your own.  This is a serious matter that needs to be done.  You could talk to your pastor or youth pastor about it and they could help you with it.  I don't believe that would be going outside the bounds of scripture if you need someone to help you do the right thing.  If you don't have a youth pastor and need help with something like this send me a message in the contact form on this blog.  Be sure to include your email so I can get back to you on it.  As always make it a matter of prayer before anything else.  Prayer is our biggest weapon in times like this.


Then we dealt with a question that was emailed.  Is it ok to get a divorce if you just fall out of love with someone?  To answer this question we first have to look at what love is.  More importantly what part of speech is love.  I know if you look it up you'll find that it's a noun and a verb.  For our discussion here we are dealing with the verb form.  Love isn't some funny feeling that you get when you're around a hot guy or girl.  It's not chills that run up and down your spine.  It's not butterflies in your stomach.  Love is a verb.  It's an action word.  It is a choice that we make.  The Bible never commands us to marry the one you love.  It tells us to love the one you marry (Eph 5:25-30).  Based on that alone I answer this question with a resounding NO!  God created marriage to be for life.  You can't just decide one day that you don't love your spouse.  If you do, you are making a conscious choice to disobey God.  You can't fall out of love.  However, you can decide to love your spouse.  Put your effort into that and you'll be surprised what God will do.

Friends and Bullies:

Finally we wrapped up with a discussion about friends and bullies.  What do I do if my friend stands by and does nothing when I'm bullied?  What do I do if I see my friend being bullied?  Unfortunately in the first case you really can't do much of anything.  You could ask your friend why they don't stick up for you, but you really can't make them.  They could be in fear of being bullied themself.  Or maybe they just don't like confrontation or don't want to rock the boat.  There could be numerous reasons why they don't speak up.  You just have to tough it out through that one.  However, if you are the friend watching on the sidelines, you have a responsibility to act.  Do something to defend your friend.  Maybe not physically fight, but speak up.  Help in some way.  Jesus was the ultimate example of a friend.  He gave up His life in order to save us.  That is the biggest thing you can do as a friend (Jn 15:13).  To stand by and do nothing is wrong.  The Bible says that when we know of something good to do and choose not to do it then that is sin (James 4:17).

In all three of these situations we talked about very difficult things to do, but they are the right things to do.  Sometimes following God isn't easy, but it is always blessed.  Follow God's will for your life today.  You'll be amazed at how He will bless you.

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